Family Home Evening - You Can Do It!

A father gets home tired after a long day at work and finds the rest of his family struggling with similar grumpy feelings. It’s Monday night, and holding family home evening seems impossible. After saying a prayer for help, the father and mother decide to keep things simple. They call their family together, sing a hymn, and pray together. They give each member a small candle to light as they tell about something that inspired them recently. In a darkened room, the light of the candles represents inspiration and focuses the children’s attention. As testimonies are shared, a feeling of sweet peace and love enters the home. The family ends the night grateful they held home evening.

Did you know that family home evening has been a Church program for 100 years? In April 1915, the First Presidency directed members to set aside one night each week for family prayer, music, gospel learning, stories, and activities. (See “100 Years of Family Home Evening” for an excerpt from the First Presidency letter.) Prophets continue to remind us of the importance of family home evening. “We cannot afford to neglect this heaven-inspired program,” President Thomas S. Monson said. “It can bring spiritual growth to each member of the family, helping him or her to withstand temptations which are everywhere.”1

Here are some attitudes to keep in mind as you make family home evening part of your week:

This applies to me. “Family home evenings are for everyone,” said Elder L. Tom Perry of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. All of us—married or single, with children or without—can dedicate time to strengthening family and learning the gospel.

I can find time. The Church sets the example by keeping Monday nights free from Church activities. You can show the Lord and your family that you are willing to set aside time for what is most important.

I can find what works for my family. If your family is separated geographically, try a “family online evening” to talk with family members online or over the phone. Does someone have to work late? Hold a “family park evening” near the workplace during a break. A divorced father held a “family letter evening” each Monday, writing to his children who lived far away. Let obstacles be a catalyst for greater creativity.

I can start this week. Family home evening can be organized according to the needs and circumstances of your home. Here are some general suggestions:

• Start and end with prayer.
• Use music, including hymns and Primary songs.
• Learn from the scriptures and modern prophets.
• Include a variety of physical activities, service projects, and gospel-centered activities from week to week.
• Have fun! Play a game or make refreshments.
• Be consistent. If you can’t do it on Monday, find another day that works.
I want the blessings. Prophets have promised that if we participate in family home evening, great blessings will result: Love and obedience at home will increase. Faith will develop in the hearts of youth. Families “will gain power to combat the evil influences and temptations” that surround them.

While your family home evenings may not be perfect experiences every time, your family will be strengthened and blessed by your efforts. “Each family home evening is a brushstroke on the canvas of our souls,” Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught. “No one event may appear to be very impressive or memorable. But just as the … strokes of paint complement each other and produce an impressive masterpiece, so our consistency in doing seemingly small things can lead to significant spiritual results.”

Give Highest Priority “We counsel parents and children to give highest priority to family prayer, family home evening, gospel study and instruction, and wholesome family activities. However worthy and appropriate other demands or activities may be, they must not be permitted to displace the divinely-appointed duties that only parents and families can adequately perform.”

First Presidency letter, Feb. 11, 1999.

To learn more: Family Home Evening - You Can Do It!

Question for Family Home Evening Discussion

Successful Family Home Evenings

“Raising a family is hard work,” said Darren E. Schmidt during a class at Campus Education Week at BYU. That is why time together as a family is critical to building testimonies and strengthening relationships. Brother Schmidt, a seminary instructor, shared principles and ideas to enhance family home evenings and scripture study, focusing on simple, practical elements for families to enhance their time together.

1. Be Consistent
“It doesn’t have to be perfect; just be consistent,” he said. For many parents, the phrase “quality over quantity” applies to family home evening, but there is a danger in that, said Brother Schmidt. It is a combination of quality and quantity that will be the most effective for a family. Although it is important to plan and prepare for family home evenings, consistency is a crucial factor. “It is a process and not a product,” he said. As family home evening becomes part of a family’s routine, children will expect their assignments and responsibilities and will look forward to the time together.

2. Be United
“Satan will wiggle his way in, so what we do is prepare for that,” Brother Schmidt said.
One way to deal with distractions and other things that get in the way is through unity. As a husband and wife are united, both spouses will take an active role in family home evening.
Brother Schmidt shared ideas of how to divide and conquer—one spouse is in charge of discipline and the other keeps the evening going. In single-parent homes, older children may be asked to help in a leadership role.

3. Make Family Home Evening Inspired and Purposeful
Families should aim to hold consistent, meaningful, Christ-centered family home evenings.
Family home evening is a place—other than church—where children are able to learn gospel . Sometimes the topics to teach are very clear, as parents have certain principles they would like to go over with their children. Other times parents have to “just pick the best thing,” said Brother Schmidt. When the family is prepared, the Spirit is able to teach. In those moments the Lord will often inspire parents to teach something that their child may have questions about or have a desire to learn more about. It is as parents are purposeful in their preparation that the Lord will be able to prepare the hearts of the learners.

4. Plan Ahead
Part of an effective family home evening is planning ahead. Through proper planning, parents are able to involve their children and help them prepare. Brother Schmidt spoke of the importance of every member having an assignment—no matter their age—every week. As the children are involved, they are able to prepare lessons and learn how to seek inspiration. By assigning the children things to do a few days before family home evening, they are able to work with their parents to prepare. A simple paper chart is a great way to rotate assignments and keep things organized.
5. Be a Shepherd, Not a Sheepherder
There is a difference between a shepherd and a sheepherder, Brother Schmidt said. “A shepherd knows his sheep, and the sheep know him,” Brother Schmidt said. “They can hear the voice of the shepherd and are reliant on him. They come when they hear him call.” A sheepherder may yell for the sheep to follow but have a hard time getting them to listen. Family life is busy, filled with activities—homework, soccer practice, piano lessons and practicing—so families are often rushed. A simple five- or ten-minute warning before family home evening—rather than yelling throughout the house—helps children to finish what they are doing so they are able to come to family home evening and fully participate. “A five-minute warning shows you are respectful of their time,” he said. “It is less forceful and creates an atmosphere with the Spirit.”

6. Everyone Must Play a Role
With an assignment given to each family member—even the younger children with help from their parents—participation becomes easier. When studying the scriptures, provide some form of scriptures for every person so all have their own something to hold and read. “For little kids cartoon books are good,” Brother Schmidt said. And when all have something to read, they are expected to participate and follow along. With that, asking inspired questions allows for deeper discussion and learning. When parents are prepared, they are able to follow the Spirit in extending invitations that encourage their children to act. Just as important as the inspired invitations is the follow-up on discussions and invitations. “Be purposeful in time and money,” Brother Schmidt taught. Sometimes it is a simple conversation that will make the biggest difference. Family home evening can be a time for families to set goals together—changing and adapting for each person as they get older—and a great place to reflect and be accountable for their goals.

7. Become Educated
With so many resources available to Church members today, parents have the opportunity to look to those resources for ideas for their lessons as well as answers to questions. Websites such as LDS.org, Church materials including the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet, and Mormon Messages are available to use within teaching and to help parents become educated. Resources for often-discussed topics are available for families to talk about and discuss, approaching sometimes difficult questions in a safe and gospel-centered environment. Children can ask questions and learn in their own homes, rather than through outside sources.

8. Use “the Word” Consistently
Just as important as it is to hold family home evening, it is important to spend time in the scriptures and focusing on Christ. Fun and games are good for families, but teaching children while they are young how to have a relationship with their Heavenly Father is the most important duty a parent has. As parents make a point to study together from the scriptures, they are able to teach and testify as they learn together. “Parents lead to the purest source of water,” said Brother Schmidt.

To learn more: 8 Tips for Successful, Effective Family Home Evenings

Nine Lessons for FHE on "The Family: A Proclamation to the World"

Get great Family Home Evening lessons for the next nine weeks! This FHE series, based on the First Presidency's "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," will teach your family the best principles on which to base their life.

LDS Living - Nine Lessons on "The Family: A Proclamation to the World"